When I was a kid, our parents would tell us to ‘come home by dark’. It was not uncommon for the neighborhood kids to be out all day and our parents never knew where we were.
Society has changed, and now kids are not let off the leash like that any more. The idea of not knowing where your children are for 12+ hours at a time is something most parents are not comfortable with.
Cell phones help correct that problem. Since my child has been given a cell phone, the answer to “Can I go bike up to the park?” is now “Sure, just text me once an hour and let me know where you are.”
Like all freedoms, this comes with risks. Cell phones have the internet available at a touch, and to help protect my kids I’ve put down some ground lessons and rules.
“The Internet Never Forgets” – I stress to them that anything they post on social media sites, or even as a youtube comment can be forever tied with them.
“Don’t Write Anything You Don’t Want Your Grandmother to Read” – this includes emails. Friends of today can become enemies of tomorrow – especially during teenage years.
The final point is that I, without intending to infringe on their privacy, reserve the right to inspect their devices at any point.
This is an upfront, straightforward process. I will tell my child, “Hand me your phone, please,” and then review their messages, peruse the apps they’ve installed, and check their browser history. This review is not a daily, or even monthly activity. I do this every 3-4 months, and they are aware that it will happen – just not the exact date of when.
I’m not worried if my teenage son searches for “sexy beach girls” on Safari, as that’s a natural part of growing up. I’m looking for apps like “OnlyFans”, “Whisper”, “Tinder” on my child’s phone.
The key here is not only to say that you will conduct these checks, but to follow through with them. Doing so gives your teen an understanding that inappropriate actions will not go unnoticed, fostering a sense of responsibility in their digital interactions.
Ultimately, how you parent your teen is up to you. Hopefully this advice will give you some ideas if your kids are reaching that age where they start using cell phones.